Inhale. Expand. Exhale. Grow.

I was talking recently with a good friend about mindfulness and useful tools for recovery and wanted to share some of the things I feel about the whole 're-wiring' of our brain we have to do when we're dealing with overcoming mental battles. It really is a matter of reminding our brain how to think again. Reminding it of which are positive and and which are negative thought patterns; and that then enables us to make better, more helpful choices in the thoughts we listen to and absorb and which we hush, which ultimately means we end up having more positive thoughts overall. Also, it's about treating ourselves or ' our mind ' in the same way we would treat somebody else..  We would never say; you don't deserve this, you can't handle it, you're a failure, you never do anything right, you're a bad person etc to someone else (without very good reason!) so why do we find it okay to do that to ourselves?  We deserve the kindness we give other people .

I hadn't written in a little while. I'd been feeling somewhat guilty (albeit unnecessarily) about that. It had not been for any particular reason other than my mind had been busy elsewhere and I found I didn't have much time or need for writing over the last few weeks. But the last week came to me like a cannonball, a huge whack of emotions I wasn't expecting. And here I am, with my mind all full of words again. So much has happened I wouldn't even know where to begin, or even if sharing the events and difficulties happening in my personal life right now is actually that relevant. But what I did want to do was share some words for someone I know is having a hard time right now. This is a person I've known, not always that personally, but I've known for her entire life. And instantly that makes me care. I care that she is struggling and that life isn't very easy for her right now.  Perhaps I care because of all the years I've known her and her family.

I was talking to someone recently and conversation led on to us sharing our mutual appreciation for this beautiful quote from the film American Beauty.. A long standing favourite of mine, I think it is one of the most beautiful pieces of script I've seen in a film. It's one of those moments where all the world seems to stop and all you can do is watch and listen as everything you've ever felt gets expressed so wonderfully. I remember the first time I saw American Beauty, and the first time I saw the scene in the movie when this quote is spoken, I wanted to rewind and listen to it again and again so every word of it could soak into my soul, I never wanted to forget those beautiful words and how they made me feel. Back then, I was still very unhappy.. And those words meant something else. Now I read them and feel something different. I can almost relate even more.. As something horrible did  happen to me, I was not dealt the kindest card, and I could  be pissed off about that

I'm sitting on an airplane, Ive read through the inflight magazine and buffet menu twice, my phones off. I put my head back against the headrest and think, what now then? Suddenly I realise this is the first moment I've stopped, REALLY stopped in the last few months. Without somewhere to be dashing to or a train to catch or a phone constantly buzzing in my ear I find myself somewhat confused what to do with myself. Even my hands feel odd rested gently on my lap.  Shouldn't I be doing something? That mental list of to-do's starts thundering through my mind.  Stop.  Stop Zana.. You need to just stop, breathe and enjoy this hour of momentary calm. Yes my schedule is packed and my diary a mess of jobs and events and dates that all seem to be at the same time, but it WILL all work itself out, as it always does; whether we stress about the logistics or not.  The last few months have been really busy for me.  Still working with my regular client several days a week in Leeds; I

Dear potential tinder date - No, your 'moment' with the title 'bored' will NOT make me want to come and take away your boredness, nor will it make me weak at the knees, EVEN if your moment also includes abs, tattoos and a beard.  The only thing this will make me want to do is 'unmatch' you. My life has zero amount of boredom in it these days, on my own I am whole already... I am not looking for someone to fill a void or end my boredom or take away my unhappiness. All I would like is someone to be in love with. That is very different. I want realness and actual emotions, not a virtual relationship or meaningless sex.  That is how I found myself on Tinder... With hope that perhaps a little bit of proactive behaviour could result in broadening my chances of meeting someone else who is also, not just looking for a one night stand or a trophy girlfriend.  Instead I find myself sat here, swiping aimlessly and wondering to myself how on earth I found myself at this poi

So Valentines day comes around again, separating the nation between those loved up and flower-laden.. And those either crying pitifully into a box of discounted chocolates or those singletons proudly remarking about how happy they are to be single, free and 'loving life'.. yet secretly catch themselves staring longingly into Clinton Cards... the harsh reality of being alone creeping in, despite the Beyoncé independant-woman talk.  We all crave love. It is a primary desire. Love shared with another being is one of the most natural and  beautiful experiences in life. However I have descovered something equally as wonderful.. The beauty in learning to love your life, exactly the way it is. Beau or no beau.  Friendship. Friendship is almost more wonderful than the sort of intimate love we share with a lover. Friendship is an affection for another being, just the way they are. True friendship should have no boundaries, true friendship is the desire to share ourselves and our time wi

Well, the idea of January being a quiet month has been completely debunked this year; as I've actually found myself busier than ever.. Rushing from job to job and commuting back and forth across the country whilst trying to make sure I find the all important time inbetween all that for family and friends; something I now regard as a vital part of my weekly schedule. Love makes the whole process of living something magical if we make sure to find the time to appreciate it.. So I'm currently sat on the early morning Birmingham to Leeds train with a full day of eccom work ahead of me after only a few hours sleep following a couple of busy days of castings in London. However I've finally found a few minutes to myself to be able to sit and to write.. I often seem to find myself writing on train journeys, it appears to be a time when I have to sit, with little distraction and am able to really collect myself. Keeping collected has been a bit of a challenge over the last few week

I recently came across poet and writer Joe Straynge  online, I instantly fell in love with his beautiful, raw words... Sometimes the emotion behind those words is so much it feels intimate, painful almost to be a part of reading. That's what I love about language, and writing.. The power it can have when we put together certain words, how it can be an outlet, a tool for connection, a voice that otherwise doesn't get heard.  As we express, we relieve the thoughts caught up in our minds, and with some hope.. Those that we share those words with may find solace, may feel comfort, connection. Without always directly communicating, we are able to feel a little less alone in the world, and just a little braver. When I read the words of writers like Joe Straynge I am able to feel that comfort... This particular little thought he shared on his Instagram recently spoke straight to my heart -  To me; a mind that perhaps has been broken, or cracked or damaged in some

This morning I read a beautiful blog post by my dear friend Tanya (who's blog I highly recommend) discussing what it means  when we say 'only human'... It was such a thought-provoking and gorgeous piece. Read it for yourself here: 'Only Human?' Tan says everything I could have said on this and more, so I feel no need to elaborate further. The conclusion simply being, we are never 'only' human.. We ARE human, beautifully imperfect, gloriously human beings. How wonderful. Somebody had left a comment on my friends blog reminding us of a famous and an all time favourite poem of mine,  Our Deepest Fear, by Marianne Williamson.. I wanted to re-share it with you as the words, so beautifully, summarise everything. We ARE shining, powerful, great and glorious beings. Let all of your light shine through. Our Deepest Fear By Marianne Williamson Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.  Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measu